Do you think having a Sexy Aura or Sexy Persona is Something You're Either Born With or You're Not?

Think Again!

While 'the look of love' may be automatic when you fall in love with someone, the look of sex is not.
Although clothing, cosmetics, jewelry, and other accessories can be sexy, some people can put on erotic underwear and the sexiest outfit in the world, and still be lacking in sex appeal.
Other people can throw on almost any outfit they have and look like they're ready for a photo shoot for Penthouse.
So what's the difference? It's all in the Attitude!
Although personal appearance may be a contributing factor in some cases, in general, our personality makes the biggest impact on other people, and if you have a sexy personality, it shows almost immediately.
We've all heard of someone having 'bedroom eyes', or of a 'come hither expression' and neither of those have anything to do with a persons physical appearance or the outfit they are wearing.
It's just the attitude they project with their expression. For an example, ignore the outfit (or at least try to) and look at the expression on the face of the model at the right.
Her expression says 'I'm sexy' just by the look on her face. Whether her personality is actually sexy or not, for the moment of the photo shoot, she appears to be.
While many professional models and actors can 'turn it on or off' for the camera, I've known some women that have become so adept at being sexy, it's 'on' all the time, and they can't turn it 'off' even when they're angry. So was this women just born sexy, or did she work at it?
I will concede that there are some people that seem to have been born with a sex appeal, but for the majority of men and women, exuding sex appeal is something they have practiced on a conscience level.
If you have teenage sons or daughters, watch them as they get ready for school or for a date. If you can catch them off guard, you will see they spend a lot of time in front of the mirror doing their hair or makeup, posing, primping, or flexing their muscles. They will practice different expressions and flirt with their image. Why? They want to look attractive, and they are practicing their look and shaping their personality to be popular and attract members of the opposite sex.
As we mature and take on the responsibilities of life, sometimes we become overwhelmed and either forget about attracting members of the opposite sex, or once we're in a relationship, we no longer care. Over time we can even forget how to be seductive, especially if we have been in a long term relationship, or no relationship at all for some time.
So how do you get a sexy attitude, or re-gain your sex appeal if it seems to have withered? By practicing. Go back in the bathroom or bedroom, look in the mirror, and try out your sexy look on yourself. Stand up straight, raise your eyebrows, smile seductively. Be honest with yourself about whether or not your look says 'I'm sexy' to you. If you don't think you look sexy, chances are, others won't think you do either.
Being yourself is fine, but if you are not the person you want to be, then learn to change. A lot of people have the attitude that if someone doesn't like me for who I am, then I don't need them. This can be a positive attitude, and you may actually feel that way because you are a very self confident person, but some people who have developed that attitude have done so because of lack of self confidence.
If your personality drives men or women away rather than driving them wild with desire, maybe it's time for you to take a critical look at who you are. We can all be our own worst critics, but being critical about your personality can be a good thing if you're working on improving yourself.
If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, try something different. Maybe your 'look' needs a little polishing up. If your seductive smile makes you look like you just sat in something wet, or sat on a tack, change it. Look at the way the models smile, and try to copy their different smiles until you find one, or even two, that fits you.
Practice all of your expressions, not only your smile. Try looking seductive, and see if you think others will find your expression seductive as well. Again, if your seductive look isn't quite as polished as you would like, look at pictures of people with a seductive look and mimic them. Whether you can get your look down in a few minutes or a few days, once you do get the look you want, practice it often, both in private, and in public. If you want to be a sex god or goddess, you need to practice constantly to make your 'sexy' personality becomes your new personality.
I said earlier than some people can throw on almost any outfit they have and look sexy. Along with their personality, this also has a lot to do with the fact that some people choose the clothes they buy because they have developed the attitude that they are attractive, and they want their clothing to reflect that. When they buy a pair of shorts or pants, they take the time to make sure the outfit flatters them rather than just buying whatever fits, or happens to be on sale. When they purchase a shirt or blouse, they look in the mirror and strike a pose or two. They make sure it fits well, shows off their body in an attractive way, and looks good to them before they try it out on others.
Look at your own wardrobe. Do you do the same thing when you buy clothes? Are all of your jeans so comfortable that you could fit a second person in them? Maybe they fit, but are they so baggy you can't tell where your butt ends and your thighs begin? Do your shirts hang on you like a burlap sack, or do they fit well and compliment your shape? Do the shorts you own hug your butt and hips, or are the legs so wide it's hard to tell if they are shorts or a skirt? While comfort and fashion can go hand in hand, too much comfort and wearing overly loose and baggy clothing doesn't do anything to improve your sex appeal.
This applies to men as well as women. Unless you're a teenager, the latest style jeans that are so baggy they can double as a four man tent are not sexy for a grown man, and I'm not so sure teenage girls actually find this look appealing on the teenage boys.
We'll skip the underwear for now, but we will get to it later (there's a reason for this).
Another thing to consider is your hair style. The shape of your face determines what style will look the best on you. If you haven't been to a hair stylist in a while, or the one you are going to is dong nothing to help your sex appeal, try a new stylist. Talk to some different stylists and get their feedback. If you go to a stylist, and they're not sure what kind of style would look good on you, or they just tell you to look at some pictures of different styles and pick one you like, leave and find a different stylist. Most stylists that know what they're doing can recommend styles that will make you look good based on your facial features, such as the shape of your eyes, nose, mouth, chin, and cheek bones. If you have a particular feature you are self conscience about, such as a large nose or wide set eyes, talk to the stylist about it and get their opinion. After all, a good stylist has seen many different faces over the years, and has seen what styles work, and what styles don't.
More and more men are using cosmetics these days, but women still have the market cornered, so ladies, take advantage of the fact this is your niche. While you can get a lot of good tips in fashion magazines on how to apply your makeup based on your skin tone and facial features, just reading the magazines or looking at the different shades of lipstick or eye shadow isn't going to tell you what looks good on you. Buy a variety of different shades and colors of lipstick, eye shadow, and foundation, and then experiment with them in the privacy of your home. Maybe you've never worn a shade of purple or orange eye shadow in your life, but you may discover it brings out the color in your eyes. The same goes for your lipstick. Fire engine red may not look good on you, but a shade of burgundy might. Don't pre-judge what you think will or will not look good. You may discover three or four different color combinations that you find appealing, with each one creating a different look. The only way you're going to know for sure is to try different colors, blends, and shades and see how they look together on your face. It may be a little extra work on your part, but it's not like you can't take it off if you don't like it.
We've discussed how a sexy attitude, flattering clothing, and the right hair and make-up can help make you the sexy person you want to be.
So now what?
Practice, practice, and practice some more! Put everything you have done into practice every day. Just because you've found that 'just right' expression that makes other's notice you doesn't mean it's automatically part of your personality now. If you want to be sexy without thinking about it, you have to start thinking about being sexy all of the time. Practice being sexy every day so that is isn't second nature, it is your nature. Buying clothes that make you look appealing aren't going to do you any good sitting in your dresser. Wear them every day. Make your sexy outfits the only outfits you own. If you're going to work in the garden, throw out the baggy shorts and T-Shirts and put on some that fit and show off your body. When you are working around the house, wear clothes that fit and make you look attractive. Does this mean change into something sexy to do housework? No, it means put on something sexy when you wake up in the morning, and wear it all day long. You're not going to have to change into something sexy to do housework, because everything you own should already be sexy, from the T-shirt and pants that fit to the shorts that hug your butt.
Another part of being sexy is feeling good about who you are. If you don't feel like you're sexy, you won't be. This goes back to your attitude. If you have any hang ups, or you are uncomfortable with your own body, you need to get over it. You can't be a sex god or goddess if you aren't confident and comfortable with your own body. Stand nude in front of the mirror and look at yourself. Tighten your muscles, stand up straight, try striking a few poses for yourself. If just standing in the nude in your own home makes you uncomfortable, then you have way too many hang ups, and it's time for you to push yourself beyond them.
The best way to get over your fears are to face them, and the same applies to getting over any hang ups you have about being nude. If walking around in the nude embarrasses you, then force yourself to be nude more often. Forget about wrapping yourself in a towel when you walk out of the bathroom, and forget the bath robe and the pajamas at bedtime and start sleeping in the nude. If you don't have kids, then get rid of the clothes when you come home from work and start walking around your home naked. You may feel a little embarrassed cooking dinner or sitting in your living room watching TV naked at first, but you will be surprised at how fast you get over it, and start to overcome your inhibitions.
Many people don't like their own body because it doesn't look like the lingerie models. I have news for you, you're not alone. The majority of people don't look like the models on TV or in magazines, so don't be overly critical. Most male and female models make a career out of keeping fit. Some men and women spend eight hours a day working out if modeling is their career. This is something the rest of us don't have time for, but if you've put on a few more pounds than you would like, and it is making you self conscience, then quit whining and do something about it. Try changing your diet and set aside 20 minutes a day, three days a week to work out, either at home or at a gym. Before you automatically tell yourself you don't have that kind of time to spare, you need to realize that twenty minutes a day, three days a week is only one hour a week you are setting aside to devote to your appearance, not to mention your health. There are 168 hours in a seven day week. Putting aside one of those hours to get in shape is not an issue. If you already spend 30 minutes in the evening watching TV, then work out while your watching the news or a sitcom, or whatever you watch.
I'm no model, and there are plenty of other men in better shape than me, but I'm not self conscience about my appearance in any way. I still feel I look good, even with the love handles I've developed over the years. If those love handles ever do begin to bother me or my lover, then I will work out more and change my appearance. My hair is also thinning, but I'm not concerned about it. If I were, I would do something about it. The point is, I'm very happy with who I am and how I look, and I still have no problem attracting women. If you're not happy about your appearance, then complaining about it isn't going to change anything. Do whatever it takes to become appealing to yourself, or you will never be appealing to others.
Whatever you decide to do, or not to do, is going to determine just how sexy you become.
Is wearing clothing that fits your body too uncomfortable? I never said it wouldn't be. In fact, if you've fallen into the habit of always buying and wearing 'comfortable' clothing (a.k.a. loose, baggy, un-flattering pants and shirts), then wearing something that fits you properly will be uncomfortable at first, but you will get use to it, and it will help you develop your sex appeal.
Is working out too hard and it makes you sore? That's your muscles telling you you're doing it right. No pain, no gain. You're going to be a little sore at first, and you're going to sweat. If you don't, you're probably not going to get the figure you are trying to achieve.
Is doing all of this just too much work for you? There's an old expression that says ' keep doing what you have been doing, you will keep getting the same things you have been getting.' So, if making an effort to become the sex god or goddess you dream of being is just too hard for you, then don't do it.
Just don't plan on getting any more attention from the opposite sex than you already are.
I saved the topic of going through your underwear drawer for a reason, and that was to tell you a little story about something that happened to me many years ago that opened my eyes about what it really means for a person to be sexy.
When I was much younger than I am now, I dated a woman that did not own a cotton bra or pair of cotton panties. Everything was either satin or silk. Most of her panties were crotchless, and most of her bras did not cover her nipples. Her wardrobe aroused me sexually of course, but it also aroused my curiosity, so I asked her about it. The answer she gave me probably had the biggest impact on my outlook towards sex, and my sex education when it comes to understanding why some people seem to exude sex appeal, and others don't.
Before I tell you what she told me, I'm going to tell you a few other things about her. She was obviously attractive to me, but she was also one of those people that couldn't stop being sexy if she had tried. It didn't matter if we were going out to dinner and she had on an evening dress and heels or jeans and a blouse, she always looked sexy, and always got looks from everyone around us. She was even sexy when standing barefoot in the kitchen cooking dinner in a pair of cut off jeans and a halter top.
All of her clothes were flattering on her. They all fit her well, they weren't baggy, and she was comfortable in them. She took time to keep her skin clear and clean, and could apply her make up like a professional in no time at all. She took time each week to keep her finger nails and toe nails well manicured, usually on an evening when we were just relaxing at home and watching TV. Even when she would just put her hair in a pony tail, she took an extra second or two and made sure it looked good.
So what was it she told me when I asked her why all of her everyday underwear were silk and satin, and most were erotic?
She said "They make me feel sexy."
Think about that statement a moment. She didn't have to practice being sexy any more. She didn't have to stand in front of the mirror and practice her smiles to see which ones were seductive and which ones were coy. She didn't have to take hours to put on her makeup or do her hair. She didn't have to practice walking with poise, or practice licking her lips in a seductive manner. She didn't have to practice her moves to make sure her hips swung just enough when she walked.
She had been practicing all of these things since she was a teenager, and she hadn't stopped just because she had grown up and was busy making a living.
She liked feeling and looking sexy, and she had worked on it for so long that she no longer had to think about it any more. Being sexy had become such a part of who she was that she automatically bought silk or satin underwear without giving it a second thought because it made her feel sexy. Her clothes always fit her well because she had the same 'look and feel sexy' attitude regardless of what she bought.

Being sexy wasn't second nature to her; being sexy had become her nature.
My point to telling you about her is to help make you see the whole point of everything I've been saying.
Buy yourself sexy underwear and clothes, and make them the only thing you wear. Whether or not anyone else sees them today, tomorrow, or some time in the future, you will know you're wearing them, you will feel sexy, and other people, especially those of the opposite sex, will notice you. You may be 'showing off' that erotic underwear sooner than you think.
Practice being sexy and taking care of yourself. Again, whether you are already involved with someone, or you are on the hunt, once you begin feeling sexy, it will show in your personality. Your partner will begin to notice it, and so will everyone else.
For some people, they may master this in a day or two. For others, it may take a little longer, but whether it takes a few days, or a few weeks, as long as you keep it in your mind that you are attractive and desirable, it won't be long until you won't have to worry about it being too much work, or that the clothes you are wearing are uncomfortable any longer.
When you start to look and feel sexy all the time, you will be sexy without even thinking about it.
You may become so sexy that you wouldn't be able to turn it off even if you wanted to. © PassionsUnchained.com

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