Planning a Romantic Evening or Weekend Getaway
by Byron Anderson
An evening of romance can be very relaxed and informal, or
elaborate depending on your time, your budget, your imagination,
and of course, how open you and your partner are to sexual
experimentation.
The one thing any romantic evening needs to have in common,
regardless of how simple or elaborate it is, is that it requires
some planning in advance. Another thing it needs is a break from
the ordinary. This means adding some new items, such as clothing
and decorations to not only get your lover's attention, but
provide some fresh stimulation. Why?
Because, complacency can kill the romance in a relationship.
It can also kill the relationship itself whether the
relationship has been going on for 6 months or 6 years. I can't
say where the fine line exists between being comfortable and
becoming complacent. Each person is different, and what one
person may consider comfortable, another may consider boring. I
do know the two go hand in hand to some degree, and I also know
that when it comes to sex, if things start getting a little
stale, that fine line can become much easier to identify.
The first thing to understand is that improving your sex life,
and your intimacy with one another, is the ultimate goal of
romance. Your goal should be to seduce your partner. Whether you
are wanting to move forward in a new relationship, or revive an
old one, what's the point of going all out to seduce your lover
and create a new level of passion and anticipation throughout
the evening, then sit around and watch TV for the rest of the
night?
It doesn't matter how wild your sex life is, with very few
exceptions, everyone gets bored without some variety.
To the person that eats steak every night, a hamburger once in a
while becomes a special treat.
The same goes for sex. If you and
your lover have sex in every room of the house, and perform
gymnastics that would qualify you for the Olympics, maybe you
should try something more sedate. On the other hand, if your sex
life consists of the missionary position in bed with the lights
off, maybe it's time to turn on some lights, move to the living
room, and start trying some of the gymnastics.
Planning a Romantic Evening.
Have you ever noticed that even if you know something, when you
start making plans, it slips your mind until someone else
reminds you of it?
Because of this, I'll get to the actual details for the night
shortly, but there's a few things many of you need to know, or
at least be reminded of before you jump right in and start
making preparations.
Romance takes many forms. Candle lit dinners with soft music is
romantic. So is being tied up and blindfolded. Your idea of
romance may not be the same as your partner's, and there's no
reason you can't create a different mood on different occasions.
Why can't one weekend be the candle light and dancing, and
another weekend can be the whips and chains? The more you
experiment, and the wider variety of things you try, the more
fun you'll end up having. Just be careful and use a little
common sense if you're going to try something new that may be
intimidating to some people.
Whatever your theme for the evening will be, before you even get
started, make sure you will not be interrupted. Lock the doors,
tape a sign to it that says 'Go Away', and un-plug all the
telephones in your house.
For those of you with young children, I don't care how much you
love them, they need to be at a baby sitter's that you can trust
completely, because the first thing you are going to do for
tonight is let the babysitter know you cannot be contacted by
phone since you will be taking it off the hook.
If you can't live with the thought that the babysitter
can't call in an emergency, then find a babysitter that
lives close enough to come and get you, ask a neighbor
to take a call in an emergency, or get a cheap pager or
cell phone and only give the number to the babysitter.
Whatever you have to do, do something, because you don't
want to be disturbed by phone calls. Even if you let the
answering machine take your calls, the phone ringing in
itself is a distraction you don't want, or need, when
setting aside time for your relationship. If you're
worried about your boss, a client, or a co-worker
calling you, then get your priorities in order. I may
work to live, but I don't live to work. If your friends,
your family, or your job are so important that you can't
risk not taking phone calls for one night, then I pity
you. You are obviously an individual that is far too
important to even be involved in a relationship with
another person, and I am thankful I am not you.
Go
slow! Seduction means anticipation.
Make the anticipation build throughout the evening for both
of you. This may not be easy, and you will have to be able to
read your lover's body language enough to make sure anticipation
doesn't turn in to frustration. Prolonging the love making for
an hour or two should be fine. Prolonging it for four or five
hours is probably too long. If your lover is constantly making
advances and you keep pushing him or her away throughout the
evening, the result will be frustration, and in some cases, that
may be the very thing you are trying to overcome in your
relationship by planning this evening.
The best way to make sure things last without dragging them out
too long is to start the evening about an hour before dinner.
Depending on whether you are going to seduce your spouse or
lover that lives with you, or you each have you own place will
depend on when you get the evening started.
If you are going to seduce your spouse or a live in lover, and
it is a work day, plan on having dinner about an hour after both
of you are home. If it's a weekend, get showered and dressed
about an hour before dinner, and ask your partner to do the
same. If you are inviting a lover over that doesn't live with
you, have them arrive about an hour before dinner.
Once you are both dressed, or your lover has arrived, put dinner
in the oven, pour two glasses of wine, turn on some soft music
and keep the volume low, then sit down together and talk while
dinner is cooking. Don't turn on the TV. In fact, it your
partner is one of those individuals that just can't seem to
survive without turning on the TV when they get home, then take
the batteries out of the remote (this will usually take care of
the problem for most men, though they may become mesmerized and
stare at the blank screen, or beat the remote on the coffee
table repeatedly trying to make it work. For women, you may have
to unplug the thing, since they seem to know how to turn it on
and even change the channel without the remote).
Your goal at this point should be to develop the communication
skills between your partner and yourself during this time, and
it can be a make-it-or-break-it situation for many people. If
you're having problems in your relationship, don't talk about
them at this time. Direct the conversation around the fact you
love one another. Compliment your partner's clothing and
appearance, and ask your partner how he or she likes the outfit
you are wearing. Tell them how much you love them, and how you
have been looking forward to this evening.
If your lover is the type of person that complains constantly
about how much they hate their job, and can drag on for hours
telling you about all the horrible details of their day at work,
then don't ask how their day was. In fact, if you notice them
starting to talk about it, try to be subtle and lead the
conversation in a different direction. Since only you know your
lover, you will have to decide what to talk about, and what to
avoid.
Don't use props at this time. Jumping up to go get something you
bought and just can't wait to show off will draw their attention
away from you. So will grabbing a magazine to show your lover a
picture of the latest gadget you want or to have them read an
article you liked. You want to focus your attention on each
other, not the rest of the world.
While talking, be seductive. Turn sideways to face your lover.
Smile a lot, & touch your lover frequently. I'm not talking
about heavy petting here, so keep your hands under control. Use
your finger tips more than the palms of your hands. Gentle
touches to the face, arms, legs, and hands are very effective.
Communication seems be a major hurdle in many relationships, so
if communicating is a problem, and you feel tension building,
try adding some levity to the conversation. A little light
hearted laughter may ease the tension.
If talking is simply not working, and the conversation runs dry,
don't force it . Try slow dancing (thus the reason to have the
soft music already playing). I know some people aren't good at
dancing , but a slow dance can just be holding one another and
swaying back and forth to the music (I have two left feet
myself, but even I can pull that much off).
Know yourself, and know your partner.
It's important to know what type of person you are, and what
type of person your partner is. Many people still have a lot of
sexual hang ups, both men and women, and if you're one of them,
you need to get over it because you're missing out on a lot of
fun having sex. If dressing up and acting sexy embarrass you,
makes you nervous, or causes you any other negative feelings,
you need to realize that the things you and your lover do
together are private, and the world isn't watching you perform.
Unless you know your partner intimately, don't try surprise,
it usually backfires.
Surprise can be very effective to create an air of mystery
and anticipation. It can also backfire. Unfortunately, the
latter is usually the case. Watching couples on TV and in the
movies surprise their lover with exotic evenings seems like a
great plan, but the movies aren't real life, and the characters
the actors are playing aren't real people in real life
situations. You don't get to 'cut' the scene and start over if
something goes wrong, so unless you know your partner very well,
and know for sure they will react in a positive way, when
planning your first evening, don't try to make it a surprise.
If you're into B&D (Bondage & Discipline), and you're with a
timid woman, showing her your collection of whips and chains and
telling her you want to tie her to the bed and make her tell you
how naughty she is so you can spank her may make her open up and
try it, or it may send her running. This may actually send some
men running too.
Along those same lines, if you're into threesomes, and you
invite a third party to show up unexpectedly, you may get
lucky... or you may get slapped and dumped on the spot.
The point I'm trying to make here is that you need to know who
you are, who your partner is, and know how to handle the evening
to keep it from turning into a disaster for both of you. If you
and your partner are not compatible when it comes to sexual
experimentation, then both of you are going to have to be
willing to compromise on different occasions to fulfill each
others desires. Refusing to do the things one another enjoys can
be devastating to a relationship.
Communicate your intentions for the evening.
Tell your lover in advance that the two of you are going to
have a romantic dinner on Friday night, or whenever. Let them
know you want them to dress nice, and that there will be candle
light and soft music, and that afterwards you would like to
spend the evening talking, making love, and trying new things.
If you're going to try something a little exotic, such as
bondage and discipline for the first time, tell them in advance.
Tell them that you have bought a blindfold and some restraints,
and after dinner you are going to tie him/her up and play out
some fantasies. Let them know you're goal is to create an
evening together like you've never had before, or haven't had in
a long time.
You don't have to give everything away, but let them know what
to expect so that you don't get rejected. Being told 'No' half
way into your evening can, and usually does, destroy the mood,
and sometimes the relationship. I use B&D a lot as an example
because it's one of the most popular ways to explore new sexual
experiences, it's an area that many people want to experiment
with, and it's an area that many people are afraid of. A lot of
trust is required to let someone physically restrain you,
especially if you're blindfolded.
Making preparations.
Candle light and soft music are always romantic, but don't
stop there. A candle lit dinner with soft music in the
background is the obvious choice for a romantic evening, and
it's always good for setting the mood, but we're going to take
it a step farther. Don't make it boring, especially if you're
married or in a mature relationship. Just adding candles to the
table isn't going to make this meal any different than any other
meal. You're either trying to create some new emotions in your
relationship, or revive some emotions that have subsided over
time. You can't do that effectively if the surroundings are the
same as every other night. Get some new things that your partner
has never seen before, such as a new tablecloth, new place
settings, new silverware, & new wine glasses. Change the decor
in the dining room by getting some new paintings or curtains. Do
the same in the living room, den, bedroom, or whatever rooms of
the house you are going to be using for the rest of the night.
Moving the furniture around and adding a few new pictures or
accessories will have a positive effect by creating the illusion
of new surroundings, eliminating some of the complacency we
discussed earlier. Remember, you're goal is to create an evening
together like you've never had before, or haven't had in a long
time.
If you're not offended by erotic images, then look for some
paintings or statues of nudes, especially couples embracing, to
help set the mood for the evening. I realize that some people
look at all nudity as pornography, even the statue of Venus or
David, so you will have to go with what you feel comfortable
with, but unless you have a religious or moral objection to
erotic images, try to expand your perceptions. Remember, the
whole world isn't going to be looking in your window to see
what's on your walls, and if displaying erotic art embarrasses
you, you can always put the paintings and sculptures away when
your mother or mother-in-law comes to visit (or before the kids
come back from the baby by sitter's).
Dress for sex.
You may have a wardrobe full of clothes and can create
different outfits for different evenings, but unless your lover
has never seen what you have hanging in your closet, and you
already have some very erotic outfits, don't just go through
your clothes looking for something sexy. Get something new for
tonight. Just like the dinner setting, you don't want your
partner to see the same thing he or she has seen before. Even if
you already have stockings and a garter belt, if your lover has
already seen them, get some new ones in different colors or with
different styles.
There are dozens of different styles of erotic underwear
for both men and women. Buy a variety in advance, then
you can mix and match them on different occasions. After
all, this evening should only be the first of many
erotic nights you and your lover share.
Get
your partner to dress for sex as well.
Try buying your partner their clothing an underwear. This
may seem like an odd suggestion to many people, but
since buying clothes is usually a somewhat personal
experience, it will actually help bring you and your
lover closer. Just be careful if you try to buy them as
a surprise. As I said before, surprise does not always
have the desired results, and unless your partner knows
in advance that what you will be buying is of an erotic
nature, he or she may refuse to wear it once the
packages arrive
If you're not sure how to approach this idea with your lover,
the best way is to bring it up after you have suggested a
romantic evening together. Once you receive a positive response,
tell your lover that want to create a night of intimacy,
passion, and try some new things. When they ask 'Like What?'
continue and explain that you want it to be a very erotic
experience for both of you, and that you would like to buy both
of you something new and erotic for the evening.
Once your lover agrees, use the internet to your advantage
rather than making time to run around to different clothing
stores. The idea of you buying your lover's clothing may seem
fine at home, but once the two of you are actually at the store,
one or both of you may begin to feel uncomfortable, especially
when you start shopping for erotic underwear, which is usually
not available at most stores, and will require you to visit an
adult shop. It's much easier, and more comfortable to shop from
your home, and you can visit adult toy sites without the risk of
embarrassment.
Clothing suggestions for you and your partner.
Comfort is relative, so you can be as comfortable as you
want when you're visiting your relatives. Tonight is not the
night for old sweat pants, baggy jeans, and t shirts. It's not
even the night for new sweat pants, baggy jeans, and t shirts.
You can be comfortable and still dress nice.
Sexy clothing can be almost anything, from the rugged flannel
shirt, jeans, and work boots for a man to a cotton shirt tied at
the waist and short shorts for women, but since the focus of
tonight is about romance, and eventually erotic sex, you both
need to go all out and dress up for the occasion.
Since this seems to be an area more men seem to have trouble
with than women (since I'm a man, I'm allowed to admit that on
all of our behalves), we'll deal with the man's wardrobe first.
The first thing to do is forget the cotton boxers or tighty
whitey briefs. There are a wide variety of men's G-strings and
silk boxers available in different colors or with prints, so go
online and find a pair that your lover likes, and buy them. If
you've never worn a men's G-string before, get two (Available
at:
Passions Unchained Sex Toys
Adam & Eve
Sex Toys
Hustler Hollywood
Angels Toy Store ). You will
want to wear one for a few days to get use to it, and you will
have a new one for your lover to see on your special night.
In
case you haven't looked in the mirror lately guys, men's cotton
shirts are only sexy when a woman's wearing them. From what most
women have told me, and reacted to positively, I recommend a
button up, long sleeve, pure silk or linen shirt in either black
or white. It should be loose, but not baggy. The same goes for
the slacks. Choose either black or dark blue in color, and keep
them loose enough to move, but not so baggy you could use them
as a car cover when you're not wearing them. Suits are nice if
you're going out, but we're talking about a romantic evening at
home right now, so while a sport jacket is fine, leave the suit
for a later date.
As far as slacks go, ditch the denim and corduroy for tonight.
There are a number of styles of men's slacks available with a
pleated front and cuffed bottom to add a touch of style, and
fabrics ranging from pure silk to a silk and cotton blend,
worsted wool, worsted wool & gabardine, worsted wool and
cashmere, pure linen, or a linen & cotton blend. Unless you're
allergic to every one of these, try to avoid something common
like polyester and rayon.
This should go without saying, but tennis shoes, sandals, and
hiking boots will not get you rave reviews in a fashion
magazine, and are not suitable for the evening we are
discussing. Get a nice pair of Italian wing tips for tonight.
They're a little more expensive, but you will look good, and
they're comfortable. If wing tips aren't your style, then at
least get a pair of nice leather dress shoes.
Women have many more options than men when it comes to clothing.
Although a sexy dress or gown always comes to mind when thinking
of a romantic evening, I've known a few women that aren't
comfortable in a dress, so for the men out there putting this
evening together, if the woman you are preparing this evening
for refuses to wear a dress, then don't try to force the issue.
Jeans and a nice blouse may not be as romantic as an evening
gown, but they can be just as sexy.
Ladies, if you are insistent
about not wearing a dress or skirt, don't just throw on any old
jeans and shirt for this evening. Find some nice designer jeans
that are tight enough to show off your assets, and that ride as
low on your hips as possible without falling down. You may not
think this style is sexy, and maybe your partner doesn't either,
but it doesn't hurt to check out a few different styles on line
and get your partners opinion. You may be surprised at what
makes his eyes bulge out of his head. When you choose a blouse,
I recommend getting one that buttons up the front for two
reasons. One, you can leave enough buttons undone to tease your
partner by showing off an ample amount of cleavage. Two, when
you move past dinner to the more intimate part of the night,
your lover can look into your eyes or kiss their way down your
tummy as they unbutton your blouse.
If you enjoy wearing dresses, make sure it's sheer, seductive,
and shows some cleavage. The exception to that would be if you
chose a style of dress that is backless and attaches around the
neck. Although many of these are open in front to expose some
cleavage, even the ones that aren't are still sexy if they allow
your nipples to push against the fabric.
Most sexy dresses require they be stepped into or pulled on from
the top, so the button up front advantage a blouse offers may
not apply. That's OK, because most dresses have long zippered
backs, and it's just as sexy for a man to kiss his way down a
woman's back as he unzips the dress. Just remember ladies, if
you have to struggle to get the dress on, you'll probably have
to struggle to get it off. Chose a dress that can easily fall
off of your body once unzipped, allowing you to step out of it
gracefully. This is much more romantic than trying to pull a
dress over your head, especially if your necklace or earrings
get caught in the fabric.
Whether you will be wearing jeans, a skirt, or a dress, you will
need a pair of high heels. Sorry, but unlike the dress versus
jeans issue, this is not an option. I know that many women don't
like high heels, and believe they were created by a man as a
torture device, but they make your legs look longer, your butt
tighter, and they turn men on, so take advantage of that fact
and get yourself some nice high heels. By the way, no cheating
here with a pair of everyday 3" low heels. High heels mean just
that, so get a pair that has a MINIMUM of a 4" or 5" heel.
(Available
at:
Passions Unchained Sex Toys
Angels Toy Store)
Next, forget the panty hose (even the crotchless ones) and get a
garter belt and stockings in either natural tones, colors, or
fishnets, whatever you prefer. Even if you are going to wear
jeans or slacks instead of a skirts or dress, they will be
coming off later in the evening. Although you may excuse
yourself to go 'slip into something more comfortable' at some
point, when things start getting passionate, you may not want to
risk putting the mood on hold by slipping away. Not only will
you be prepared by putting on the garter belt and stockings in
advanced, you'll also feel sexier throughout the evening wearing
them.
You can choose either a G-String or panties, but if you choose
panties, they should be crotchless to add an even more erotic
touch. If you can't bring yourself to wear a G-String or
crotchless panties, at least get some silk or satin panties that
are as sexy as you can find, and in a color that matches or
compliments the garter belt (Available
at:
Passions Unchained Sex Toys
Adam & Eve
Sex Toys
Hustler Hollywood
Angels Toy Store ).
Whether you choose to wear a bra or not is up to you.
Personally, when the clothes come off, I think a sexy bra adds
to the overall erotic look, and you can always take it off
later. If you do wear a bra, find the most erotic one you can. A
half shelf bra that leaves your nipples exposed will drive your
lover crazy with desire as long as you choose a dress or blouse
that is either sheer or clings to you enough to allow your
nipples to be visible pushing against the fabric.
Accessorize your wardrobe.
I prefer the look of long, dangly, and slightly excessive
diamond earrings on a woman. They add both a touch of class, and
trash, which is something very few other jewelry items can do.
If you like hoops or studs, then you can go that route, but at
least try the look of some 'over the top' diamond earrings
before you decide against them. I also like bracelets, but I
recommend going with something like a simple gold chain with
inlaid diamonds rather than a charm bracelet. Bracelets with
charms hanging off of them can be a little too delicate during
the wild throngs of passionate sex, and they can get caught in
clothing or scratch your partner in a way that may not be
pleasurable.
The same applies to a necklace with a charm that
has a lot of sharp edges. Smooth designs usually don't create a
problem later into the evening. Rings usually need to be smooth
also, especially men's rings. Whether you like ankle bracelets
or waist chains is up to you, but keep in mind the problems that
can arise if you like to hang charms on them.
If you're thinking that the style of jewelry you wear doesn't
matter since you will be taking it off when you have sex, think
again.
If you normally take your jewelry off before making love, plan
on leaving it on tonight... all night. If you normally leave it
on when making love, make sure you get something extraordinary
for tonight. Remember, you want to mix things up a little
tonight, and something as simple as a different style of
earrings can make a big difference. While we're on the subject,
unless your partner has a foot fetish, plan on leaving your high
heels on as well.
For the guys, if your accessories consist of a plastic, digital
sports watch that beeps every half hour and has a face that
glows in the dark, lose it and get yourself a real one. While
you're at it, dump the dog tags and the plastic thing on your
wrist, the 20 pound gold chains that hang to your waist, or
whatever else you might normally wear, and step up to something
more classy and fashionable. Whether you're into gold, silver,
or titanium, if your woman is making an effort to enhance your
love life by getting dressed up for you, then do the same for
her.
Also, follow the same tips regarding leaving jewelry on, except
for your watch. Even though you've made sure to choose your
other jewelry without sharp edges, watch bands and winding stems
have a way of scratching your partner, and not in a good way. So
the watch always comes off.
The last accessory is just as important. If you or your partner
have body peircings, then don't forget to get some new body
jewelry for the occasion. I know the selection is a little
limited, but you can be creative. A simple pair of gold nipple
rings with a gold chain connecting them can create a new visual
treat for your lover. You can also use a chain to connect them
to a belly button ring. A more daring idea is the same long,
excessive diamond earrings I mentioned earlier. You can attach
them to an existing pair of nipple rings or a belly button ring
since the wire is usually dangerously small to risk actually
putting through the holes in your nipples or belly button. The
result is a new visual stimulation for your lover, and the added
weight pulling on your nipples can be a new heightened sensation
for you if you've never tried it before.
Although adding accessories to genital
peircings can be
extremely erotic, use caution if you try this. The accessories
can get caught in your underwear when you are sitting. If this
happens, when you stand up you may experience a new level of
pain that you never knew existed.
If you don't have
pierced nipples, there are a large number of vibrating and
non-vibrating nipple clamps you can choose from
(Available
at:
Passions Unchained Sex Toys
Adam & Eve
Sex Toys
Hustler Hollywood
Angels Toy Store ).
Meal suggestions.
Actually, this is more a guideline for what NOT to serve.
The meal does not have to be elaborate, and should not be
something that will require you to stand over the stove and
prepare, such as a delicate sauce that doesn't stand up to
refrigeration and re-heating well. Even pasta with a light lemon
and dill sauce will require you to make final preparations at
the last second, as the sauce will lose it's body if you try to
re-heat it. You want the meal light so you both avoid becoming
over stuffed or getting indigestion, so you also need to avoid
foods with overly heavy or spicy sauces. If you do want to add a
sauce, hollandaise sauce can be made in advance, refrigerated,
and it does hold up fine when re-heated if you add a tablespoon
of water.
Whatever you decide on, you don't want to turn this night into a
workout in the kitchen (well, that is an option after dinner,
but not while you're actually cooking), so try to choose
something simple that you can prepare ahead of time and either
cook in the oven, or refrigerate and heat up in the oven later.
A few examples of some menu choices would be to skip the
appetizer and start with a Greek salad or Chef salad with a
light dressing to start, followed by a simple vegetable
casserole, a roast duck or pheasant with a glaze that can be
added prior to baking rather than a sauce, or a prime rib cooked
with baby potatoes. Any of these will allow you to do most of
the preparation, and clean up, in advance.
When it's time to start cooking, simply toss your dinner in the
oven. You won't have a stack of pots and pans to worry about
cleaning up later, and you won't be so exhausted from cooking
you don't feel very romantic the rest of the evening. Also, when
you take the meal out of the oven, put it on a serving platter
and fill whatever roasting pan you used with water and leave it
for tomorrow. The same goes for the dinner dishes. I promise the
world won't come to an end if you just rinse things off for the
night and take care of the actual cleaning the next day. The
meal is just the start of the evening, so don't bog yourself
down afterwards by insisting on cleaning the kitchen before moving
on to the intimate part of the evening.
Choose a good wine to go with your meal.
A good wine is always a welcome accompaniment to any meal,
especially a romantic one, and it's effect can help alleviate
some inhibitions you may have should you be trying something
new. A bad wine is worthless, and can undermine all of your
efforts as quickly as a bad meal, especially if your lover knows
anything about wines. Unless you are a wine connoisseur,
choosing a good wine may be intimidating, and most of the people
I've met working at the local liquor store wouldn't know a
Chardonnay from a Cabernet, let alone a La Bastide Dauzac
Margaux from a Chateau Trimoulet St. Emilion Grand Cru. If
you're not wine savvy, and don't know someone that is, the
internet is not only a good source of information, but you can
purchase some very good vintage 1999 to 2002 import and domestic
wines on line. The cost is reasonable, usually $60 to $70 a
bottle, though there may be some shipping restrictions depending
on the state or country you live in.
Eat dessert in a room other than the dining room.
Another reason you don't want to be over stuffed by the meal
is so you have room for dessert. And since we're talking about a
romantic evening, obviously the dessert will serve another
purpose besides satisfying a sweet tooth. Unless you are going
to be having sex on the dining room table, serve the dessert in
the room where the passion is going to start turning into
action. Although you can choose almost any dish you like, the
standard strawberries and non-dairy whipped topping are always a
favorite. Don't use real whipped cream. Regardless of how much
better it tastes, when using it for sexual stimulation by
applying it to your partners body and licking it off, it doesn't
take long to develop a sour smell, and this will ruin the
evening. Melted chocolate or honey are enjoyable as well. You
just have to remember to monitor the temperature of the
chocolate, and that both of these contain sugar, so they require
you to be very thorough when licking it off of your partners
body to prevent becoming sticky.
Although this may not seem like
a bad thing, and sweat will usually take care of most residue,
the sticky sugars can get caught in body hair, creating a
painful rather than pleasurable experience. I know watching
honey being poured all over someone's body on TV looks exciting,
but again, TV isn't real life. If you're new to using syrups or
honey for sex, use it sparingly so you will be able to lick it
all off.
Other foods that make good alternatives are caviar, ice cream,
chocolate or other flavored puddings, any flavored syrups used
to make flavored milk or ice cream topping, and maraschino
cherries. Some not-so common options are maple or flavored
pancake syrups (just as sticky as honey), and almost any
condiment such as ketchup, mustard, miracle whip, or pickle
relish so long as you and your partner actually enjoy the taste
well enough to eat directly off of each other's bodies.
Basically, almost anything you like the taste of can be used as
a sexual treat, so if you've already done the strawberries and
whipped cream before, try something else for a change of pace.
A word of
caution: Don't insert food into a woman's vagina.
Many foods contain sugars and natural chemicals that can cause
infection. Some foods can even cause problems if placed on
a man's penis. To add flavor to your partner's genitals,
use a flavored lubricant or lotion designed for this purpose
(Available
at:
Passions Unchained Sex Toys
Adam & Eve
Sex Toys
Hustler Hollywood
Angels Toy Store ).
Props.
Props can be anything you choose. The only thing that
matters when choosing props is that if you choose restraints,
handcuffs, paddles, or other B&D gear, your partner must be a
willing participant. Some of the more common, and effective
props are: Candy & Flowers, Silk or Satin Sheets and Pillow
Cases for the bed, Scented Candles*, Music that matches both of
your tastes, Feathers, Silk or Satin gloves, Sex toys of any
kind, Massage Oils and Lotions, Flavored Body Oils, Erotic
Underwear, Erotic Lingerie, Jewelry, Body Jewelry, Body Paints,
Sexy Clothing, Sexy Costumes, Stiletto Heels for women, New
make-up for women, New cologne or perfume, Erotic DVDs, &
Bondage Gear.
*If you and your lover are going to try dripping hot wax on each
other's body, avoid the colored or scented candles. The
materials used to color and scent the candle holds the heat
longer, and can result in a little too much warmth. Use a white,
unscented candle, and hold it approximately 12" to 14" away from
your lover's body. If this still creates too much heat to be
comfortable, move it farther away. A good tip is to experiment
on your own skin prior to dripping the wax on your partner,
especially on sensitive areas like the nipples. Another thing to
remember is that once the wax dries, it can pull on body hair,
so if you are dripping it on a male, avoid the chest hair as
much as possible and concentrate on the smoother regions of his
body. On males and females, avoid dripping hot wax on unshaven
pubic regions. For more pleasure, try a massage oil candle (Available
at:
Passions Unchained Sex Toys
Adam & Eve
Sex Toys
Hustler Hollywood
Angels Toy Store ). These candles are actually massage oil
that liquefies when you light them.
A less
common prop is the lighting. Dimmer switches are a great start,
but try replacing your white light bulbs with soft pink ones.
They create a much softer, more flattering glow, especially on a
nude body, and they can help hide any imperfections you may be
self conscience about.
Unless you're wanting to get into some wild imagery, avoid black
lights. In most cases, the results can be pretty scary, although
they can definitely create a different atmosphere than what you
may have experienced in the past.
If you have a four poster bed with tall posts, another thing you
can try is adding sheer or lace panels surrounding the bed. You
can also accomplish this without a four poster bed if you attach
the panels to the ceiling.
Erotic movies are a good prop to help get the evening started.
If you and your lover watch them all the time before having sex,
then avoid them tonight. If you and your lover seldom, if ever
watch an X rated movie together, then try putting one in after
dinner
(Available
at:
Passions Unchained Sex Toys
Adam & Eve
Sex Toys
Hustler Hollywood
Angels Toy Store ).
Probably one of the best props is the Liberator Ramp & Wedge
Combo and the Pleasure Swings (Available
at:
Passions Unchained Sex Toys
Adam & Eve
Sex Toys
Hustler Hollywood
Angels Toy Store ). The incredibly deep penetration
you achieve during intercourse with the Liberator Ramp & Wedge
Combo can't be duplicated with pillows, and the positions you
can try during intercourse and oral sex with a sex swing cannot
be duplicated without one. Most of the better quality swings can
be used with or without restraints, so they're not only for the
B&D crowd. If you can't attach a sex swing to the rafters of
your home, or you don't want the permanent eye bolts in your
ceiling, there are stands available that will not only hold the
swing, but don't require any permanent mounting location. Even
if you do want to mount the swing in one particular location in
your ceiling, the sex swing stands will allow you to move the
swing to other rooms to allow for even more variety.
Since
everyone is different, I can't tell you exactly what to buy for
dinner, or what paintings you hang on your wall that will entice
your lover. I'm also not going to tell you at what point the
evening should start becoming physical, or what positions to
try. These are the things you need to decide on as the evening
progresses. Just remember to be creative, and make it as new and
fresh as possible. As far as shopping for erotic clothing, and
everything else I have mentioned,
Passions Unchained Sex Toys, Adam & Eve,
Hustler Hollywood, and
Angels Toy Store
has everything you will need.
Are there other things you can try? Of course, but hopefully
I've given you enough ideas to get your own imagination going to
create a romantic evening you and your lover will not soon
forget.
Now we'll talk about a few
tips for a romantic weekend.
Sexy Weekend Getaways: Two Days of Sexual Ecstasy... or Longer.
Just like a romantic evening with your lover, a weekend getaway
is designed to allow you and your partner the chance to focus on
your relationship.
Weekend getaways, whether they are at home or away, can be a
great way to either move a new relationship forward, or help to
revive a mature relationship.
For a weekend getaway at home, a few ground rules have to be put
in place first to make sure the weekend does qualify as a true
getaway. Just like a night of romance, a weekend getaway means no
distractions. No phone, no kids, no friends or family dropping
by. If your home is the local hang out for your friends, let them
know not to come around this weekend, and put a 'Do Not Disturb'
or 'GO AWAY!' sign on your front and back door if necessary.
The television and stereo are off limits except for a collection
of DVDs and CDs you select in advance. The DVDs should be
erotic. Whether they are X rated, or XXX rated, you want the
focus of the DVD to be on sex. If you don't have a good
adult book store in your area, or you prefer shopping for adult
products incognito, There are hundreds of softcore and hardcore
adult DVDs available at
Passions Unchained Sex Toys,
Adam & Eve
Sex Toys,
Hustler Hollywood, and
Angels Toy Store.
CDs can be a collection of anything, from classical to rock. In
fact, you can focus much of your love making around the music
you select. Vary your love making throughout the weekend by
selecting a CD with soft music and make slow, passionate love,
then later, select something with an aggressive beat and start
swinging from the bed posts.
Even if your intention is to have marathon sex and stay in bed
for 48 hours having as much sex as possible, there may be some
'down time' during the passion. You may also find that a steady
stream of XXX rated DVDs can become mind numbing. So what do you
do during these times? Play games or take turns giving one
another a sensual massage.
I'm not talking about Monopoly or Chess here. Get a few sex
games for the weekend
(Available
at:
Passions Unchained Sex Toys
Adam & Eve
Sex Toys
Hustler Hollywood
Angels Toy Store ). They are a great way to have fun with
your partner and keep the focus on sex throughout the weekend,
which is what you are trying to do in the first place by
planning a weekend getaway.
I know I said this already, but in case anyone missed it, I'm
going to repeat it here for anyone that didn't read it earlier,
and I'm going to expand on it a little.
The first thing to understand is that improving your sex life,
and your intimacy with one another, is the ultimate goal of
romance. Your goal should be to seduce your partner. Whether you
are wanting to move forward in a new relationship, or revive an
old one, what's the point of going all out to seduce your lover
and create a new level of passion and anticipation, then sit
around and watch TV for the rest of the weekend?
If you are having some problems in your relationship, a weekend
getaway may be a good starting point to try and resolve them. If
your sex life is great, but the rest of your relationship is
suffering, then take advantage of the fact you do have a good
sex life, and use a weekend of sexual experimentation as a way
to try and open the lines of communication and talk about the
other areas or your relationship that need work. Although I
can't address every possible situation, being 'stuck' with each
other for 48 hours straight with no other diversions may be just
what you and your lover need. After all, barring the possibility
you are going for a weekend of marathon sex, you are going to
have a lot of time to fill between the actual love making.
For a weekend getaway away from home, you can choose either a
hotel, a bed and breakfast, or resort.
If you chose a resort or a bed and breakfast, try to find one
that offers couples only options. Again, as wonderful as
children are, while you're trying to liven up your sex life, and
possibly save or revive a failing relationship, you need to be
able to devote your undivided attention to your partner. Having
your children, or other people's children around can be a
distraction.
I know it's a horrible thing to say, but the fact is, some
people feel their children are the cause of their marital
problems. Whether this is true or not, even in the most loving
families, mom and dad need some time alone to indulge themselves
in the adult pleasures they enjoyed creating the kids in the
first place. A weekend away from the kids may be enough to
change the outlook of the partner that actually does feel the
kids are creating a strain on the marriage.
If you choose a motel, you won't have the couples only option,
but you can always explain to the person you are making the
reservations with that you and your partner are looking for a
place for a quiet, romantic weekend together, and tell them you
will need a room away from the public areas where there will not
be children playing tag and running up and down the halls. Don't
be shy or apologetic about telling them what you want. Most
quality hotels will be willing to accommodate your requests
without hesitation. If the one you have chosen is hesitant about
guaranteeing your satisfaction at the time you make your
reservation, find a better one.
When it comes to choosing a motel, the sleazy 'no-tell motel'
may offer vibrating beds, in-room hot tubs, and XXX pay per view
movies, but unless you're playing out a Hooker-and-her-John
fantasy, I wouldn't recommend them.
Even if you are
playing out a Hooker-and-her-John fantasy, I still wouldn't
recommend them. If you insist on going to this type of motel, I
will recommend brining along a lot of disinfectant and bug
killing sprays.
Playing out a fantasy
can be a great way to add some new levels of excitement to an
older relationship, and f you are wanting to play a Hooker fantasy for the weekend,
step it up a little to a Call-Girl fantasy and choose a nice
hotel. After all, you're going to be there all weekend, and you
may want to play out other fantasies, or actually take time to
enjoy some of the amenities the establishment offers. For
costumes to play out a fantasy, visit
Passions Unchained Sex Toys,
Adam & Eve
Sex Toys,
Hustler Hollywood, and
Angels Toy Store.
Whether you are playing out a fantasy, or just wanting to get
away together for the weekend, keep some of the same things in
mind we covered for the romantic evening scenario. Since the
motel or resort will already be new and unfamiliar surroundings,
you and your partner will already have a heightened sense of
awareness as you check the place out, but don't rely only on
only your surroundings being different to make the weekend a
success. You will still want your partner to see you in something
different than they have in the past, but you now have the
opportunity to take it one step farther. You will definitely
want some new sex toys for the weekend. Whether or not they all
perform the same task, items like different vibrators offer
different visual experiences. You will also want some new
clothes that your partner has never seen you wear before.
Since you will be there at least two days, you will have the
chance to put on some casual outfits for lunch or for going out
for a walk, and some semi formal or formal dress clothes for a
night or two of dining and dancing. For the women, this is your
chance to go all out with a nice evening gown with all of the
accessories. For the men reading this, this it the time for the
new suit, complete with a dress shirt and tie. Whether you like
suits or not doesn't matter. If the woman in your life is going
to look like a million bucks, don't be an embarrassment to her,
or to yourself, by having the door man or the valet being
dressed better than you are.
If you find a motel far enough away from your home town, the
chances are better that you will not run into someone you know.
Keeping this in mind, you can risk being a little risquι in your
attire, and maybe wear something more sexy and revealing than
you normally would around your home town. I find it a turn on
knowing the lady I am with is desirable and getting stared at by
other men, and by other women. Of course some men, and some
women, are insecure and get jealous when their lover gets looks
from others, so you will have to know your partner's disposition
before being too sexy in public. You can't get close to your
lover if he or she is in jail facing assault and battery
charges. When making your reservations at a motel, try to find one with a
large bathtub complete with water jets. Although skinny dipping
or having sex in the public pool or hot tub at a motel is fun,
it's frowned upon by the management, and you could get kicked
out of the motel, or even get arrested for indecency or public
exposure, so use caution if you try either of these.
What is allowed is wearing extremely erotic swimwear. Climbing
out of a pool dripping wet is a turn on in itself, but when you
are wearing a swimsuit that shows off your assets, it can drive
your partner crazy with desire. Again, you have to realize that
you will be attracting not only the attention of your partner,
but other's in the pool or hot tub area.
Having sex outdoors is extremely erotic, and finding a remote
location to go skinny dipping and make love in the water or on
the shoreline is a new level of ecstasy. Keep this in mind when
planning a weekend getaway. Some of the more remote locations,
such as the mountains or near the beach may allow you and your
lover the chance to find a secluded lake or stretch of beach
that will afford you the privacy to let yourselves go.
Whether you are going to find a motel, a bed and breakfast, or a
resort, keep in mind that even if you are just going to arrive
Saturday morning and leave Sunday evening, make sure they have
at least one formal, five star restaurant nearby so you can
indulge in at least one night of dinner and dancing with your
partner. This is part of the romance of going some place new.
After all, if you're going to stay in bed all weekend, you can
do that at home.
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