We asked ourselves that question when we started this section, and we figured as kinky we are, if anyone could come up with one, we could.  After all, we knew the two biggest complaints men and women have, and the basics are simple enough, so all we needed to do was tell men to slow down and convince more women to do it. After that, we just needed to add all of the different positions and the different tips, techniques and variations. It seemed possible.

We decided to get a few men and women together and have them tell us specifically the unique things they liked their partner to do when they were on the receiving end of oral sex. We figured with a dozen or so men and women, we could come up with at least two or three different tips and tricks to get some main categories outlined, and then we'd interview as many other men and women as necessary to nail down all of the best ways to perform oral sex.

So with a pen and notepad in hand to take a few notes, we called some of our staff together and set out to put together the most comprehensive guide to oral sex we could.

It didn't take us long to figure out that our little notepad wasn't going to be sufficient. Rather than getting the two or three different tips we were hoping for, we ended up with thirty or forty, and that was while we were just getting started!

Some women liked to have the outer lips licked first, some liked to be tongue fucked, and some liked it when a man flicked his tongue over their clit. Some men liked to be deep throated, some liked just the tip sucked and the shaft stroked, and one liked it when a women would drag her teeth along his shaft and bite down on the head while squeezing his balls as hard as she could (this one made the other men cross their legs and cringe). With the wide variety of information we were getting in this small setting, we could see that the information we would get interviewing an additional 500 or so women and men would be overwhelming!

It didn't take long to realize that for us, or anyone to try to put together a realistic, comprehensive guide to oral sex would not only be a daunting task, but it would be so long (and probably so boring), it would take people weeks, if not months to read. People that did bother to read it would have to memorize thousands of different tips and techniques, or put their computer next to their bed and keep stopping to scroll down to read the next tip.

This wasn't what we wanted.

It was time for us to go to our files and do some research. We realized that if you're looking for a comprehensive guide to oral sex, there are dozens of books, and thousands of websites about oral sex, in fact Google returned 26,800,000 results at the time we wrote this article, but before you get frustrated and keep searching the web, you might want to know that what we've just said isn't actually anything new, and it's not just our opinion:

"Contrary to common belief, and many women's expectations, cunnilingus is not a natural skill that every man and lesbian is born with. Cunnilingus is a learned skill. If you do not take the time to teach or learn this skill, you will never fully enjoy the benefits. Every woman is different, so no matter how good someone was at giving a woman oral pleasure in the past, they still need to re-learn their technique if they change partners. Women cannot compare notes tit for tat as they are never exactly the same in likes and dislikes. There are physical and psychological reasons for this. While everyone would like to read a detailed "How-To-Guide," there is no way of creating one that is accurate for all women. At most, one can only give ideas and basic hints. Finding and reading women's first hand accounts is perhaps the best way to get new ideas, but the individual woman is the only one who can tell you what is enjoyable for her and works best." From the book Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving by Betty Dodson. Copyright 1987, 1983, 1974

If you're looking for an all-inclusive guide that will take you step by step through every possible oral sex technique and list every possible option, you're going to be doing a lot of searching, and a lot of reading. Our goal was to create a very short, easy to remember guide that teaches you HOW to learn better oral sex techniques rather than write an encyclopedia of oral sex.

It also didn't take us long to realize that the 'basics' weren't so basic after all. While there may not be a different preferred technique for every person on the planet, it was obvious that each person had their own preferences when it came to their partner going down on them, and these preferences were sometimes opposite of one another which would make it impossible to do a step by step guide for performing oral sex that suited everyone. For example, one woman wanted a man to bring her to an orgasm by using his fingers to stimulate her G Spot while sucking on her clit, and another hated it when the oral pleasures were disrupted by the intrusion of a finger. She liked her lover to bring her off by using their top lip to rub her clit while sucking her pussy lips deep into their mouth and sliding their tongue up and down between them. One man liked his wife to grab his ass and make him cum by deep throating him, but another received more satisfaction when a woman would suck on the head while stroking the shaft hard and fast with her hand.

Are gay men and lesbian women better at oral sex?

When it was pointed out that a man should best know how to satisfy a man and a woman should best know how to satisfy a woman, and we would probably get more consistent feedback when talked to gay and lesbian groups, that made sense until the bisexual members of our little 'think tank' made it clear that this wasn't necessarily true. One woman (we'll call her Betty) said it was easier to get a man to do the things she liked rather than a woman. We asked her to elaborate:

Betty explained that just because it's two women performing cunnilingus on each other doesn't mean they're going to like the same things. She went on to explain that she likes having her pussy eaten soft and slow, and that another woman she knows (who we'll call Karen) enjoys having her pussy eaten in a more aggressive manner. Betty explained that when Karen went down on her, Karen knew Betty liked being eaten slowly and having her clit sucked, and this is what Karen started out doing. But as things began to get more heated up and Karen became more sexually aroused, her knowledge of what felt good to her and made her cum took over, and she started pushing her face against Betty's pussy hard while tongue fucking her. Betty went on to explain that when it was her turn to go down on Karen, she had a hard time being as aggressive as Karen wanted her to because it was hard for her to get her mind set on the fact that making tender love to Karen's clit, which is what Betty enjoyed having done to her, wasn't what Karen liked, and she kept telling Betty to eat her pussy harder.

Of course, the same situation applies to men, and the members of our little group that had been with multiple partners of the same gender agreed that it can be a lot harder to perform oral sex on a partner of the same sex if they like having something done to them that you don't like, and visa versa. Although our group was small an by no means represents a large percentage of bi sexual people, any part of the gay or lesbian community (some people were bisexual, but none were strictly same sex oriented), the general consensus was that compatibility between members of the same sex can become an issue, and if they couldn't relate what feels good to them to the things that feel good to their partner, it was usually easier to get a member of the opposite sex to do the things you liked orally than someone of the same gender.

If that doesn't make sense to you yet, it's like the fact that it's usually easier to train someone how to do a job if they've never done it before than it is to take someone that's been doing a job one way for years and re-train them do it differently. When people get use to doing things a certain way, it's not always easy to get them to change.

So why are we telling you all of this?

To demonstrate the point than when it comes to satisfying a man or woman orally, short of writing a dictionary, there is no single set of instructions or tips that will satisfy everyone. One man's idea of a great blowjob, such as having the head of your dick bitten while your balls are being squeezed into oatmeal, is another man's worst nightmare, and as we've already demonstrated, a woman who enjoys having her pussy made love to gently isn't going to like it when someone attacks it furiously.

Since it was obvious we couldn't come up with a short, easy to remember guide for giving head like we did for having anal sex, or even list a set of tips for giving good head that would cover everyone's likes and dislikes (that would turn into a massive website in itself, considering it took us half a page just to explain why we couldn't do it), rather than abandon the whole idea of including a section on oral sex, we decided it was time for us to take a step back and rethink what needed to be said here.

A Prelude to Learning How to Give and Receive Better Oral Sex.

As we've already seen, good oral sex is a very complicated issue because good oral sex is not the same thing for everyone.

Since there were so many different things people liked and didn't like when receiving oral sex, it was obvious that communication was mandatory, but we knew that giving your partner instructions during oral sex can sometimes kill the mood, and make some people defensive.

The first thing we had to do was figure out the best way for someone to give their partner instructions.

Just like vaginal and anal sex, telling your partner what does and doesn't feel good when they're performing oral sex on you is essential for it to be satisfying, and probably more so when performing oral sex, but a lot of men and women who have satisfied previous partners orally may take pride in the fact they were able to do so without any instruction, and they may think you're complaining about the job they're doing. This can be VERY bad when it happens, so don't chance it.
Rather than wait until you're in the middle of your partner performing cunnilingus or fellatio on you, you and your partner need to sit down first and talk about experimenting with different techniques.
Don't start off with the words 'We need to talk.' Men have a tendency to immediately start thinking about all of the possible negative things you want to talk about, so you're already starting out with a negative attitude on his part. This is true for some women as well.

A good way to approach a conversation about oral sex, or any sex for that matter, might be to say something like "Honey, I love the way you make love to my pussy, but I want to know some of the things you think would be nice for me try when I suck your cock". Of course, if you're a man initiating the conversation with a woman, you would switch the body parts in that sentence.

Ladies, some men are a little hard to talk to. If that's the case with your man, here's a little insight for you: Most men fear criticism, and whether they believe they are sparing your feelings, or they fear retaliation, when given the choice of telling you that you give the word's greatest blowjob, or telling you that you suck at giving head (pardon the pun), he's going to opt for the compliment, so avoid words like 'if' or 'should' when trying to start a conversation about oral sex.
If you ask your partner "Is there anything I should be doing differently when I give you a blowjob?" or "I want to know if there's anything I can do better when I suck your cock." He will probably say "No, you're wonderful at it. You don't need to change a thing."
Just like everything else in life, all men and women are different, but a lot of women reading this can probably identify with what we just said.

Once you talk about trying new oral sex techniques, you will have to set aside the time to actually try them and then... talk about them some more.

This means that you will have to have at least one oral session, if not more, that is a little more 'clinical' than usual where your partner tries the different techniques and you tell them which ones you like the most, the ones you like the least, and the ones you don't like at all.  Of course, you will have to switch from the one getting oral sex to the one giving it, and your partner will have to provide you with feedback about what they do and don't like as well.

You may know what you do like, but it's just as important to know what you don't like!

While you may think you give the world's greatest head, and maybe you had a previous partner or two that would go wild when you went down on them, you have to remember what we said about different people liking different things. Your previous partners may have loved the way you attacked their genitals aggressively, but your current partner may find that more annoying than satisfying, and they're either too nervous, or too polite to say anything.

Another situation may be that you or your current partner, or both, haven't had a lot of previous experience with oral sex. Maybe what you're doing to one another may feel nice, but it isn't incredible and you don't see what the big deal is about oral sex. By taking the time to go step by step from the least aggressive moves to the most aggressive ones, or somewhere in between, you may both figure out why oral sex is such a big deal to so many people.

Knowing what causes pleasure and pain.

It's a little ironic when one man calls another man a pussy, insinuating he's weak or soft, and saying someone that is brave or daring has balls, because a woman's pussy is usually a lot tougher than a man's balls. We know this doesn't hold true for everyone, but most women enjoy having their pussy spanked, and pretty aggressively at that, but while the shaft of most dicks are pretty tough and can handle being smacked around, not all men can handle having their balls squeezed.

While the pussy's clit and the head of the cock have the most nerve endings, we're not going to discuss the nerve density of the different areas of the pussy or cock. Suffice it to say there are enough nerve endings in every inch of the body to create a pleasurable sensation no matter where you concentrate your efforts, this includes the outer lips of the pussy and along the shaft of the cock.

If you've been with your partner for any length of time, you probably know how aggressive you can be, so don't try any of the aggressive techniques if you already know the ones that will cause your partner pain.

If you only like aggressive oral sex, and you absolutely hate it when your partner goes slow, then there's no reason to get frustrated by trying some of the slow techniques. While everything here is pretty mild since as we explained, getting into exotic or extreme oral techniques here would be too much for what we're trying to achieve here, just skip around and check out some of the more aggressive techniques to see if there's any you might like to add your oral adventures.

We aren't going to list a step by step guide to better oral sex.

We've already made it clear that you don't want you to have to memorize a lot of exotic techniques or stop to read the next tip or step, and to be honest, to be able to give good head, you don't have to do either of these things.

By going through a few steps starting with the least intense moves, then progressing to the more intense ones, what to next will pretty much come naturally. So rather than try to memorize each section of our guide or even or print it out, just read through it and you'll see what we mean.

Remember, this isn't a guide to teach you what to do every time. It's a learning tool to help you discover what you do and don't want to do the next time.

2. If a woman has clitoris that projects outward or is well developed, you will be able to suck on it. If a woman has a small or hidden clitoris, you may only be able to lap at it.

3. Nothing upsets a woman more during cunnilingus than having her partner break their rhythm, or wander off the spot, when they are on the verge of orgasm. So unless you are teasing her, keep up your rhythm and intensity once you start bringing her close to orgasm.

4. Never stimulate a woman's clit immediately. If a woman is not adequately aroused, her clitoris will either be overly sensitive or totally insensitive to all forms of stimulation. You need to wait for her hormones to get flowing and for her genitals to become engorged with blood. There are more tips regarding the sensitivity and lubrication of the clit you need to read when we get to the clitoral stimulation section of this guide.

5. Be very gentle until you learn what your partner likes. There are women who require a very light touch; others will find this ticklish and will require a firm but gentle touch. Still others will not be able to tolerate direct stimulation of their clit at all.

The outer lips of the pussy;
As your partner tries the following techniques, tell him the ones you do and don't enjoy since he won't be in the best position to read your body language. Besides, this exercise is about communication, not body language and 'guessing' what each other likes.
• Start by gently blowing on her pussy (never in it, as this can cause internal damage).
• Lick the skin around the area where her pussy lips start.
• Kiss the outer lips of her pussy.
• Gently slide the tip of your tongue up and down just the outer lips of her pussy.
• Gently slide the tip of your tongue along the slit between the pussy lips.
• Let your tongue spread her pussy lips slightly, then lick up and down just barely on the inside of them.
• Move your tongue in a circular motion, still teasing just the inside of the lips.

More aggressive techniques;
• Rather than using the tip of your tongue, spread your tongue flat and lick the outer lips of her pussy vigorously.
• Using your teeth to nibble on the outer lips of the pussy. Some women will enjoy a little harder bite than others, so increase the force very slightly until she tells you that's hard enough.
• Use your lips or teeth to tug on the outer lips of her pussy. Again, each woman will have a different threshold where pleasure turns to pain, so tug very gently at first, then a little harder until she tells you not to.
• Turn your head to the side to get one of her pussy lips between the lips of your mouth with your upper lip between her pussy lips. Begin sucking it into your mouth, increasing the amount of suction until she tells you when to stop. Next, without tilting your head to the other site, move to the other pussy lip so that your lower lip is between her pussy lips and repeat the process. Even though both of her pussy lips will have the same threshold of pleasure versus pain, you will find that your perception of how hard you're sucking is different when your lower lip is between her pussy lips than when your upper lip was.
• Now tilt your head to the other side and repeat the process. Without going into a lot of boring details about equilibrium and whether you're right handed or left handed, suffice it to say that once again you will probably find your perception of how hard you're sucking is different. You need to try and make a mental note of this so you don't hurt her in the future when you're eating her pussy in a less clinical setting.

The inner lips of the pussy;
• Work your tongue a little deeper into her pussy until you reach the inner lips. If you're not overly familiar with the female anatomy, there aren't actually two individual sets of pussy lips. The inner lips refer to the inside of the pussy lips, and more specifically the point on the inside of the pussy lips where there is a slight fold in the skin. On some women, this fold is easy to find and does look like a separate set of lips, while it's hardly existent on others. If you're having problems locating the inner lips, as long as the tip of your tongue is just deep enough so that it's not completely inside of her pussy (where it's not making contact with any flesh), you're probably in the right area.
• When your tongue reaches the inner lips of the pussy, begin licking in an up and down motion, then switch to a circular motion. Ladies, be sure to tell your lover which motion you prefer, if you enjoy both equally, or if you don't like the sensation at all.
• Finally, insert your tongue as far as you can into her pussy and begin tongue fucking her. Move your tongue in and out, up and down, and in circular motions again.
• Vary your techniques by tongue fucking her with your own lips closed and either resting against the outer lips of her pussy, puckering up and pushing your lips inside of her pussy, and opening your mouth to let your lips cover the pussy.
• Most women are going to enjoy all of the different sensations, but if there is anything you don't like, or certain things you like more, be sure to let your partner know.

More aggressive techniques;
• While you're tongue fucking her pussy, tip your head and pinch one of her pussy lips between your upper teeth and your tongue. Although you shouldn't have a problem with this move, it may be difficult not to bite down too hard since you're trying to use your tongue to gauge how much pressure you're applying. Remember, just because you're only using your top teeth doesn't mean they aren't sharp and can't hurt her, so be careful with this move.
• When you're tongue fucking her and your mouth is open, covering her pussy, suck on her pussy lips. Some women may not like this, some will enjoy a little suction, and others will enjoy it when you suck hard enough to draw her pussy lips into your mouth. The only problem with this move is there is almost no way to prevent stimulating the clit and causing her to cum, which isn't really a problem, but we have been avoiding clitoral stimulation up to this point.
• When varying your techniques by tongue fucking her with your own lips closed and either resting against the outer lips of her pussy, puckering up and pushing your lips inside of her pussy, and opening your mouth to let your lips cover the pussy, try pushing your mouth against her pussy each time, increasing the force little by little until she tells you to stop. Some women enjoy this so much, they won't tell you to stop, and you will have to hold their waist to push hard enough to satisfy them with this move. You may find she will even enjoy a lot more pressure against her pussy than your own lips can handle.


Clitoral stimulation:

There's no part of the male body that can duplicate the sensitivity of a woman's clitoris other than poking your finger in your eye. As sensitive as the head of a man's cock is, a woman's clit is probably ten times as sensitive. Even so, different women have different levels of sensitivity when it comes to their clit. Some women enjoy rubbing their clit aggressively with a great deal of force, while this causes pain for others.

When you begin stimulating a woman's clit, you will find even the slightest change in pressure or suction will have a major difference, so be more careful than you were when stimulating her pussy lips, and make your changes in very gradual steps.

Considering the different techniques you have been trying, the stimulation you have been giving your lover's pussy has probably been more than you ever have in the past, and she may have already had one or more orgasm. Even as methodically as we have been approaching the stimulation of the pussy lips, most women should be begging for you to pay attention to their clit by now, and my have found it almost impossible not to reach down and start rubbing it herself. Your lips may have been stimulating her clit as well, and it may be too sensitive to touch. If this is the case, you will have to wait a while before moving on to clitoral stimulation.

If not, then now is the time to move from the pussy lips to the clit.

Some women have a larger clit than others, and as they are stimulated it swells. It may or may not be poking out of the skin that covers it yet, but if it's not, it should be swollen enough to make it easy to find with only your tongue. Bring your tongue up to the top of her slit and feel for her clit, then make it rise by licking the skin that covers it. You may have to lick hard and press into her skin some.

For some women it's perfectly normal if the clit doesn't expose itself, so if you can't access her clit with only your tongue, you will have to expose it using your fingers. Never touch a woman's clit with a dry finger! The clit does not produce any fluid, and is not lubricated by her pussy juices. Your finger may stick to her clit if it's dry, causing her pain. You need to get your fingers wet, either by using the juice from her pussy or licking them, then gently pull the skin open to expose her clit.

Also, don't let your tongue get dry when stimulating her clit. Since your tongue is going to be out of your mouth, it will dry out. When you feel it getting dry, repeatedly spit on her clit or drool on it and let the saliva from your mouth run down your tongue to keep her clit lubricated. Drooling is the best since you don't have to remove your tongue from her clit, and it will keep her clit slippery, increasing the pleasure she will feel.

While the thought of spitting or drooling on their lover disturbs some people, it does keep the clit lubricated, and most people find it erotic. If spitting or drooling is something you can't bring yourself to do, or you tried it and just can't handle it, keep pulling your tongue back in your mouth as often as necessary to keep it as wet as possible. Whether you spit, drool, or pull your tongue back in your mouth, it is essential that you don't let your tongue get dry and stick to her clit.

Stimulation with the tongue;
• Once the clit is exposed, with just the tip of your tongue, start making circles around the base of her clit, avoiding the tip of the clit as much as possible.
• Still using just the tip of your tongue, gently lick just the very tip of her clit, making very light contact.
• Continue by applying a little more pressure, but try not to apply too much too fast.
• Start licking harder, moving across the tip and around the base.
• For many women, especially ones that enjoy having their clit loved on gently, this will be enough to cause her body to spasm as it builds up for a clitoral orgasm. This is not the time to stop what you're doing. Keep licking her entire clit until she cums.

More aggressive techniques;
A word of caution if you try any aggressive moves when stimulating a woman's clit. If a woman isn't sure of her limits when it comes to how much stimulation she likes on her clit, be EXTREMELY careful. Even a slight increase in suction or pressure may be enough to take her from ecstasy to agony, and it's doubtful she will have time to tell you to ease up if you get too aggressive. If she does tell you to ease up, and you're foolish enough not to listen to her, don't blame us if you get a knee in the ribcage... or somewhere even more painful!
• Some women like a little more stimulation than others, so rather than use just the tip of your tongue, spread your tongue out wide and lick her clit. While you may be able to provide more precise stimulation with just the tip of your tongue, you will be able to stimulate a larger area with your tongue flattened out.
• Pucker up and make a small 'O' with your lips and start sucking on her clit. Increase the suction slightly until you find the point that drives her crazy.
• Very carefully take her clit between your teeth and nibble on it GENTLY! It's doubtful you will be able to use very much pressure without causing pain, but then again, there are some women enjoy that.
• If she is enjoying the rough play, you may even want to try tugging at her clit with your teeth. (If she enjoys this, and the two of you haven't tried any bondage and discipline play yet, I'd suggest you get some bondage toys immediately. If you don't, just send us her name and phone number and I'll take it from there!)

Stimulation with the tongue;
• Once the clit is exposed, with just the tip of your tongue, start making circles around the base of her clit, avoiding the tip of the clit as much as possible.
• Still using just the tip of your tongue, gently lick just the very tip of her clit, making very light contact.
• Continue by applying a little more pressure, but try not to apply too much too fast.
• Start licking harder, moving across the tip and around the base.
• For many women, especially ones that enjoy having their clit loved on gently, this will be enough to cause her body to spasm as it builds up for a clitoral orgasm. This is not the time to stop what you're doing. Keep licking her entire clit until she cums.

Combining masturbation with Cunnilingus:
Unless you're a famous rock star that started the group KISS, and you're known for having an incredibly long tongue, it's doubtful you will be able to stimulate a woman's G Spot with your tongue (we're not even sure if Gene Simmons would actually be able to stimulate a woman's G Spot with his tongue to be honest). While oral sex is incredibly erotic and pleasurable, it's also very passionate. After all, how much more passionate can you get than making love to a woman's pussy? But as enjoyable as it is, your tongue is only going to be able to give her a clitoral orgasm. While this is nothing to shrug off as insignificant, you can use your fingers to stimulate her G Spot while your tongue is providing pleasure to her clit.
• If you're not sure where her G Spot is, just slide a finger into her pussy and curl it upward until you feel a soft, fleshy area. Some women enjoy just one finger being inserted into their pussy, and others enjoy it when you use two, three, or even four fingers to massage her G Spot. Although it's usually women that have given birth that can handle four of a man's fingers being inserted into their pussy, as we have said many times, all women are different.
• Another twist on combining masturbation with cunnilingus is to use your finger to rub her clit, or your thumb and finger to squeeze it while you tongue fuck her pussy or suck and nipple on her outer pussy lips. Just remember to keep your finger or thumb and finger wet by dipping them into her pussy every so often, licking them, or spitting or drooling on her clit.
• Some women don't produce as much natural pussy juice as others, and some men have a problem creating enough saliva to keep things nice and wet. One way to make sure you keep her clit well lubed is to use a sex lube.
• A lot of friction isn't necessary on the clit, and too much can cause pain, so even if you produce enough pussy juice to soak the bed, sex lubes will make her clit even slicker than her own juices can, and adding a little lube to her clit before stimulating it will send her over the edge!

Too many people are not aware of the risk they may be taking of causing an infection by using foods and other products in their mouth to help mask the flavor of their partner's pussy juice or semen.

Whether you like taste of a woman's pussy or not, there are a lot of different oral sex mints and oral sex gels to add some flavor, and some variety. While some breath mints may taste good, the sugar used in them isn't the best thing to help prevent infection, and the sugar substitutes and flavorings they use may not be either. Mentholated cough drops may provide an intense sensation, but they weren't designed to be used inside of a pussy either. Women, don't forget that when you're giving your man a blow job, even though his dick is an external organ, the opening will be subject to infection as well from the sugars and flavorings used in breath mints and cough drops as well. Even food can cause infections, so stay out of the kitchen when you're looking for new flavors when you're having oral sex.

Like everything else you try, don't risk your health or your partners health by using items that weren't intended for sexual experimentation. Stick with products that were designed specifically for oral sex to use on or in a woman's pussy and a man's cock to make sure you're not putting your partner at risk.

Back to Top

Since a man's cock tends to bounce around, you'll probably have to use your hand to hold it still. Use as little pressure as possible with your hand since we're dealing with strictly oral stimulation here.

The shaft of the cock;
As your partner tries the following techniques, tell her the ones you do and don't enjoy since she won't be in the best position to read your body language. Besides, this exercise is about communication, not body language and 'guessing' what each other likes.
• Start by gently licking up and down the shaft with the tip of your tongue only, stopping occasionally to blow on it. Since this is an experiment with different techniques than what he may be use to, for now you need to avoid contact of any kind with the head and don't take his cock into your mouth... no matter how much he begs.
• Move toward the base and lick the area where the shaft ends.
• Kiss your way up and down the shaft from the base to just below the head.
• Start licking again, still using only the the tip of your tongue, but this time work your way around the shaft rather than up and down. This will require you moving your head around his cock to avoid taking it into your mouth.

More aggressive techniques;
• Try using your teeth and let them gently scrape over the shaft.
• Bite down gently on the shaft, increasing pressure until he says stop.
• Trap a small bit of skin along the edge and bite down on it gently while pulling it. Use extreme caution as the skin is already stretched from his erection.

The balls;
• Work your way down the shaft to his balls and begin kissing them gently.
• Lick them with just the tip of your tongue, stopping occasionally to blow on them.

More aggressive techniques;
• Nibble on the skin of the scrotum sack some, pulling on it in different areas with your teeth. The skin on a man's balls will be easier to stretch than it is on the shaft.
• Continue biting and pulling harder until he lets you know when pleasure turns to pain.
• As always, use caution when biting any flesh since your teeth can cut much easier than most people realize.

Back to the shaft;
• After stimulating his balls, move back to the shaft, but this time begin licking up and down with the surface of your tongue rather than just the tip.
• Work your tongue around his shaft moving from the base to just below the head. Spend enough time to lick the entire surface seven or eight times.
• After thoroughly giving the shaft a tongue bath, place your lips against just the shaft and suck on it, still avoiding the head.

More aggressive techniques;
• While sucking on the shaft with your lips, bite down gently on it, increasing your pressure each time until he says it's hard enough.


The head;
Since we are avoiding the use of the hands for now, return to using just the tip of your tongue on the shaft and work your way up to just the base of the head. For un-circumcised men, you will have to use your hands to pull the skin down to expose the head.
• Work the tip of your tongue around the base of the head a few times.
• Rather than work your way up the head, stop completely and turn your attention to just the opening (the hole in the tip).
• Use the tip of your tongue to lick just the tiny hole in his cock, stopping to blow on it occasionally (like the pussy, never try to blow into the hole of a man's cock).
• Now begin circling the head of his cock with the tip of your tongue.
• Once you have thoroughly tortured the head of his cock with the tip of your tongue, don't start sucking on it yet. Instead, flatten your tongue out and give the head of his cock a nice tongue bath.
• By now, the head of his cock should be throbbing and the shaft should be jerking with anticipation. If it isn't continue teasing the head some more with your tongue.

More aggressive techniques;
• Still avoiding any sucking, scrape your teeth over the surface of the head gently.
• Bite down carefully on the head of his cock, but like your clit, a little pressure goes a long way, so don't get too aggressive too fast, as pleasure can turn to pain very quickly.

Applying suction;
• Remember the things he said he liked, because even though we're going to move on to sucking his cock now, once you know what he likes, you can drive him crazy the next time by spending a lot of time teasing the shaft and balls.
• Start by taking only the tip of the head between your lips and apply a little suction.
• Move farther down until just the head of his cock is in your mouth and spend a little time sucking on it.
• Use your tongue to play with the hole and circle the head of his cock while you're sucking on it.

More aggressive techniques;
• Bite down gently just at the base of the head, but use extreme caution. The skin in this area can tear easily on some men.
• You can usually suck as hard as you want on a man's cock without any worry of hurting him, even the head, so increase the suction more and more until he says it's enough. If you end up sucking as hard as you can and he doesn't object, vary your suction from mild to intense.

Moving down the shaft;
• Rather than go from sucking on the head of his cock to deep throating him, continue taking his cock in your mouth slowly, stopping every inch or so to suck and tease it with your tongue.
• Vary your suction like you did with the head of his cock. If he did have you stop before you were sucking as hard as you can on his head, this shouldn't be an issue once your lips are around his shaft. (If you can't suck as hard as you want, and this has happened with other men you've known... be sure YOU send us YOUR name and phone number!)
• When you have made your way to the base, or you've taken as much of his cock in your mouth as you can, work your way back to the head inch by inch, just like you did working your way down.
• Use your tongue as much as possible, circling the shaft and head, and as you move back up the shaft far enough, use the tip of your tongue to poke and play with the hole.

Combining Masturbation with fellatio;
• Rather than just jerk him off at this point, whether you swallow or not, try slow strokes and cup your hand over the tip of the head. Make sure to repeatedly lube your hand with your saliva, or if you're using a flavored gel to perform fellatio, put a little extra on your hands before you use them to fondle his cock. Moving back and forth between using your hands and your mouth will allow you to keep him tantalized and help you control how long it takes him to cum.

Finishing him off;
• Lean over and take his cock as deep into your throat as possible. If you're standing, move your hands to his ass for support and better control. Start stroking his shaft with your mouth slowly at first, then begin moving your mouth up and down the shaft faster until you feel his muscles tighten and he begins to ejaculate. Most men will be able to cum from this stimulation, it just may take a lot longer than either of you are use to. For men that do need more friction to cum, you may have to use your hand to finish off, and many couples find it more erotic if the man jerks himself off into the woman's mouth. If you've never tried this, it adds visual stimulation for both the man and the woman. Since a man can only cum once, if you've limited yourself to any one particular technique in the past, then try one of the other ones. For women who have a problem letting a man cum in their mouth, see the tips for swallowing in the next section on this page.

Just like the fact that some men don't like the taste of a woman's  pussy, some women don't like the taste of a man's cum.

For the benefit of those that didn't read the section on cunnilingus, or skipped the information at the end, we are repeating it here because too many people are not aware of the risk they may be taking of causing an infection by using foods and other products in their mouth to help mask the flavor of their partner's pussy juice or semen.

Whether you like taste of a man's cum, or whether you swallow his cum or not, there are a lot of different oral sex mints and oral sex gels to add some flavor, and some variety. While some breath mints may taste good, the sugar used in them isn't the best thing to help prevent infection, and the sugar substitutes and flavorings they use may not be either. Mentholated cough drops may provide an intense sensation, but they weren't designed to be used on a man's cock either. Don't forget that even though a man's dick is an external organ, the opening will be subject to infection as well from the sugars and flavorings used in breath mints and cough drops as well. Even food can cause infections, so stay out of the kitchen when you're looking for new flavors when you're having oral sex.

Like everything else you try, don't risk your health or your partners health by using items that weren't intended for sexual experimentation. Stick with products that were designed specifically for oral sex to use on or in a woman's pussy and a man's cock to make sure you're not putting your partner at risk.

Once you and your lover have taken the time to try the different techniques for cunnilingus and fellatio, and you have told one another the things you enjoyed the most, the things you enjoyed somewhat, the things you liked but wouldn't want them to do every time, and the things you didn't like (if any), you can perfect your oral techniques by varying the time you spend doing the different things. You obviously want to keep in mind the things they liked the most, but don't just limit yourself to doing the same thing every time.

Even though everyone is different, most people will agree to some extent that one of the best ways to please someone orally is to do the things that get them off the easiest, but then switch to something else before they cum to bring them back down. This type of sexual emotional roller coaster can produce some of the most intense orgasms possible, and of course, it works with vaginal sex, anal sex, and when masturbating your partner.

Guys, don't forget the women's number one complaint that we go too fast and stop too soon. Even if you think your a god when it comes to eating a woman's pussy, some women will try to spare a man's feelings by not telling him he's only so-so in the pussy eating department, and your woman could be one of them. Go slow, and even if you're going to take her to the edge and then bring her back down, before you stop completely get your mouth or your tongue on her clit and don't stop until she is clawing at the sheets and her body is writhing from the massive waves of orgasmic pleasure you are giving her.

Ladies, remember that a man's number one complaint is the fact there's not enough of you that are even willing to give a man a blowjob, and too many of you won't swallow when you do. I know a lot of women have an emotional hang up about sucking a man's cock because they think it's nasty, but great sex means being naughty and nasty when you're alone with your lover. As far as swallowing, it's true that a man's cum is an acquired taste, and a woman's juices are as well, but there are plenty of safe oral sex mints and oral sex gels on the market that can help cover up the taste.

If any of you have read this far, but have decided that performing oral sex isn't something you're willing to do, I suggest you either scroll down to the section titled 'How Important is Oral Sex?" or go back to the top of the page and use the link to find it. You may be surprised how many men and women say they are willing to call it quits in a relationship because their partner won't perform oral sex. If this doesn't bother you, and you have the attitude that 'if my partner would leave me over something as stupid as oral sex, then they weren't the right person for me anyway', you may be right, just don't be surprised if they decide the same thing and before you know it, they're telling you they have found someone else that might be a better match for them.

All forms of sex, including oral sex, is an important part of a relationship. If the sex gets boring, the relationship does too.

Back to Top

Deep Throating:

It's important to understand that most people relate the term deep throating to not only taking a man's cock as far into your throat as possible, but swallowing his cum as well. As far as being able to take a man's cock deep into your throat, it's all about learning self control. Just like learning how to accept a man's cock in your ass without pain involves teaching yourself to control your anal muscles, learning to deep throat involves teaching yourself to control your gag reflex. There is a position that will help with this. If a woman lies on her back with her head hanging over the edge of the bed, then tips her head back while the man stands or kneels in front of her, this opens the throat and creates a straight shot for his cock to go farther into her throat. Most women can take a man much deeper into her throat in this position, and she is less likely to gag.

Tips for Swallowing Nature's Love Cocktail :

"I have a hard time with the taste of semen, so I hold my breath since you can't taste anything when you hold your breath. It helps."

"When I give head, swallowing is just part of it. You haven't really finished what you started if you don't swallow. I don't think spitting it out is very nice, and it insults the guy you're with. I think it makes guys feel better about you afterwards when you swallow."

"When I suck my husband off I let his semen pool under my tongue near the front of my mouth and. Then I keep sucking his cock long after he shoots his load. This accomplishes two things. One, he gets sucked dry, which is something he loves, and two, it gives my mouth time to make more saliva to dilute his semen that's under my tongue. When he shoots a huge load and my mouth's full of semen, I swallow it all at once."

Approximately 98% of all women agreed that taking the man's cock as deep in your throat as possible is the best way to avoid the taste.

We went through about 300 different tips women had for swallowing a man's cum, and while we did run across some interesting ideas, we narrowed the list down to the tips that were specifically from women that didn't like the taste of semen. About 98% said that when a man was ready to cum, since the taste buds are on the tongue rather than the back of the throat, if they took the man's cock as far into their throat as possible, they either didn't taste it as much, or not at all.

"When your man is ejaculating, make sure his cock is deep down in the back of your mouth, or sometimes your throat. This way it is easier to swallow, without the taste!"

"I find that if I let him cum as deep as I can get him, it slides down my throat, and avoids my tongue and most of my taste buds"

"Swallowing really isn't that bad at all. In fact, if you get the technique down, you hardly taste it. You can let his cum hit the back of your throat, totally bypassing your tongue...and voila! He's happy and you don't make any funny faces at the taste of it. Hell, think of what he does do you."

"I've always swallowed. Now, I love seeing the look on my husband's face as our eyes are locked on the other's and he shoots his streams of cum into my mouth. It's just magical. However the taste is something that I've never really gotten used to. Over the years I've learned to deep throat him completely even though he's about 8 inches and average thickness. I've learned from asking him that it's almost more enjoyable for him to cum while he's in my throat than it is when he's shooting it all over my tongue and the back of my mouth. The big advantage it gives me when I deep throat him and he comes is that I never taste it. When I sense he's starting to have his orgasm I just take a deep breath and push his cock down my throat as far as I can and begin swallowing. That method hasn't failed to make him have an immediate orgasm. He says my swallowing almost feels like I'm finishing him off with a hand job around the head of his cock."

Mints, drops and gels designed for oral sex not only add flavor to help mask your lover's natural taste, but some help to numb the mouth, making it easier to deep throat.

Even when deep throating, a lot of people have trouble acquiring a taste for their partner's cum, and refuse to swallow because of it. Many of them have found sucking on a breath mint or cough drop while performing oral sex helps cover the taste, but as we mentioned, breath mints (even sugar free ones), cough drops, and even food is fine for your mouth, but they can cause infections inside a woman's pussy, and inside a man's cock due to the sugars and flavorings used in them. That's why using products designed for oral sex like an oral sex mint, oral sex drops, or an oral sex gel is recommended.

People are different, and when it comes to using oral sex mints, drops and gels, some people find one mint is sufficient, while others need two. What's important to understand is that while they do add flavor, a numbing sensation, or a cooling effect, they aren't breath mints or candy, and they aren't going to taste like breath mints or candy. Most of them contain chemicals to produce the numbing and cooling effects to help cover the taste of a man's cum or a woman's pussy juice, as well as providing a pleasing sensation for your partner.  Even though some people like the flavor of the oral mints, drops and gels, a lot of people compare the taste to a cough drop. Very few people don't like the taste, just don't expect to pop one in your mouth and have it taste exactly like a breath mint.

Before you're too quick to ignore the warnings we give about using regular breath mints or even cough drops because mints and gels designed for oral sex contain artificial flavors and sugar as well, it's important to understand that all sugars (disaccharides) are not created equal.

Most people will remember the natural sugars fructose (fruit sugars), sucrose (table sugars), and lactose (milk sugars) from their school science class, the 'softer' breath mints and sugar free hard mints usually use artificial sweeteners like Sucralose, Stevia, Saccharin, Aspartame, Acesulfame-K, or Sorbitol and mannitol (sugars derived from alcohol). The mouth creates bacteria to feed on simple sugars, and in turn the bacteria increase the acidity of your mouth. The bacteria that the mouth creates doesn't cause infections in the mouth or the digestive tract because of the acids our bodies create, but the pussy and the cock don't create digestive acids, and they are susceptible to infection from different bacteria.

Once you move beyond the sweeteners, different artificial flavorings and colorings come into play. It would take a book to list them all, but different body parts are going to react to different chemicals, and while the manufacturers of the mints used to freshen your breath aren't going to add chemicals that will harm your mouth, they don't have to be concerned whether some of these additives will cause infections when used for oral sex, because that's not what the products are designed for. Even though some of the contents in the mints, drops and gels designed for oral sex may be the same as some contents found in other products, the other contents, and the quantity of various chemicals, is where the problems can start.

We will say that there are probably some breath mints that may not have an adverse affect on some people, but the exact same product can create major problems for others. If you've already used a particular product in the past and haven't experienced any infections, chances are it's safe for you to continue using it as long as the manufacturer doesn't change the ingredients, or you don't change the quantity or frequency of your use. We have never heard of a product that Passions Unchained Sex Toys, Adam & Eve, Hustler Hollywood, or Angels Toy Store carries that is designed for oral sex causing any kind of infection, so if you're experimenting, and considering popping a breath mint into your mouth you've never tried before, even if you have a friend that's used it, and it does cause an infection or other problem, then all we can do is say that we did try to warn you about the possible risk.

Back to Top

While the most common position for oral sex is the receiving partner laying on their back while their partner satisfies them, the positions for oral sex are only limited by your imagination. Your partner can be sitting, laying down, standing on their feet, laying on a sex wedge and ramp, or standing on their head it that's what turns you both on.

Since oral love making can go on for extended periods of time, both partners need to find a comfortable position to be in.

You do not want the person performing oral sex to get a sore or stiff neck, and you do not want the recipient to get tired holding their own weight up for long periods of time. Take some time to find a comfortable position before you get started, and don't be afraid to use pillows or sex furniture. The most popular piece of sex furniture for oral, vaginal, and anal sex is probably the Liberator Ramp & Wedge Combo. We recommend using the combo to anyone that wants to add new positions to any of their sexual activities, including oral sex.

Mutual oral sex is done in the "69" or "Yin - Yang" position. While it is most commonly performed by one partner laying on their back while the other straddles them, it can be just as satisfying with both partners laying on their side.

There are couples who find either of these positions very enjoyable since they are feeding off each other's arousal and orgasm. Others find they cannot concentrate on what they are doing to their partner, and get so caught up in their own pleasure they forget to stimulate their partner. Some become so distracted by what they are doing that they cannot experience orgasm. So only trial and error will tell you if this the 69 position is a good one for you and your partner to try.

For an even more exotic thrills, there's the standing sixty nine, many men like to stand up and hold the woman upside down. To take some of the pressure off the man's back, the woman usually bends at the hips, which is at his face level, and places her thighs on his shoulders to help support her weight. Obviously, the standing sixty nine requires that the man be in very good physical condition, and it's usually more for show than anything, but if you and your partner can achieve this position, between the emotional rush and the strain on both of your muscles, the orgasms you reach can be very intense! Before you give this one a try, make sure you understand the risks of possible injury due to muscle strain.

An option for couples that aren't quite able to achieve the standing 69 is the sitting 69. The man can sit on a couch or in a chair, then the woman can position herself upside down, placing her legs on his shoulders for support, or even on the back of the couch or chair is the back is approximately level with the man's shoulders. This position offers an exotic option for men that may have back problems and aren't able to hold their partner in a standing position, just make sure you're not driving your woman's head into the couch if you start pushing your mouth hard against her pussy.

Your health, age, weight, and flexibility will determine which position or positions are best for you. Although trying an exotic position can be fun, and we do recommend trying the standing or sitting 69 at least once in your life if you are able to, constantly using a fancy position gains you nothing if you tire or your muscles become stiff and sore.

Another variation on the sixty nine position combines oral sex with masturbation. Some women have a problem performing fellatio, but their partner enjoys performing cunnilingus. To provide the mutual satisfaction other couples enjoy from the sixty nine position, the man can lay on his back while the woman straddles his face. As he eats her pussy, the woman can jerk him off.

While this may not provide the same level of emotional satisfaction as mutual oral sex, if the couple have already come to terms with the woman not being able to perform fellatio, it does offer the mutual satisfaction of the 69 position.

While we're on the subject of the emotional satisfaction of oral sex, we should mention that some men and women view their partners refusal to perform oral sex reason enough to find another partner! We talk more about this in the section below.

Back to Top

How important is oral sex?
According to a 2006 survey we did for PassionsUnchained.com (see excerpt of the survey below), when asked 'Would you continue to date someone who would not go down on you?' 65% of men said no, they would not continue to date someone who would not go down on them.

Since it's easy to say one thing in a survey, and do something very different in real life where emotions come into play, we can probably adjust that number and say that roughly half of the men would actually look for a new partner if their current one refused to give them oral sex.

So how many man are getting their cock sucked? When asked 'Do you perform oral sex on your partner?', 57% of women said yes, they perform oral sex.

Since half of the men think receiving oral sex from their partner is important enough to be determining factor in whether or not they will continue to date someone, and a little over half of the women perform oral sex, it sounds like there's a 50-50 chance that men who feel oral sex is a deciding factor in their relationship are are either with someone that agrees, or have the chance to find someone that will give them oral sex.

50% of men that feel oral sex is important enough to be a deciding factor in a relationship is a pretty impressive number.

But how how important is oral sex is to women?

In the same survey, when women answered the same question 'Would you continue to date someone who would not go down on you?', a whopping 87% of women said no, they would not continue to date someone who would not go down on them!

Again, adjusting for the possibility of an emotional attachment that might change their mind, we'll adjust that number to 75%... but that's still three fourths of women that think having their partner go down on them is important enough to either stay with a lover or find a new one!

So how women are getting their pussy eaten? When men answered the question 'Do you perform oral sex on your partner?' 99% of men answered yes, they perform oral sex!
If more men are performing oral sex than there are women who think it's important enough to be a deciding factor in a relationship, even taking into consideration some of these men may be gay, and even if we adjust the numbers for the people that didn't participate in the survey and estimate that only 75% of all men will actually go down on a woman, it still sounds like the majority of women have don't have to worry about getting some oral action from a man.

In another survey done by Glamour Magazine in 2000, the question was asked "Do you need extra stimulation to orgasm?", the women's answers were:

I need "a hand" 38%
I can do it just from intercourse 28%
I need oral sex 21%
Other 10%
I need a vibrator 3%

While the need for oral sex was behind masturbation or no extra stimulation, it's important to realize that the question isn't asking if they 'like' or 'enjoy' oral sex, it's asking if they need extra stimulation. 21% of women chose oral sex, so one out of five women are saying oral sex is necessary for them to have an orgasm!

We know there are a lot of variables that can cause survey results to vary, and there are a lot of people that won't participate in a survey about sex, the results from those that did participate are still interesting, and do give us some insight to how important oral sex is to both men and women.

Another way to help us understand how important oral sex is to us as a species is to take a look at the number of searches done on the web for oral sex and related terms each year. Take a look at the different terms used, and the number of searches people did for oral sex and related terms in 2006:

oral sex (18,460), oral sex techniques (1,712), free oral sex movie (800), oral sex tips (800), gay oral sex (538), how to give 0ral sex (400), lesbian 0ral sex (381), perform 0ral sex (340), 0ral position sex (317), women forced to give oral sex (300), teen oral sex (250), oral picture sex (210), free oral sex videos (200), oral sex pictures (200), oral sex positions (200), oral sex guide (200), 0ral sex tip (192), 0ral sex video (178), give oral sex (177), 0ral sex technique (102), free oral sex video (83), free oral sex (75), oral sex woman (61), hiv oral sex (52), movie oral sex (45), oral photo sex (39), black 0ral sex (39), 0ral sex story (36), female oral sex (35), mature 0ral sex (32), anal oral sex (32), free oral picture sex (32),

Even though some of the searches were for things like 'free oral sex' (we're not quite sure what those 75 people were actually looking for), there were still over 20,000 searches for oral sex, techniques, how to, positions and more.

Would you be surprised to find out that women are more likely to
leave a man that won't perform oral sex on them than men are!

Although we were please to find out that 99% of men do perform oral sex on their partner,
we were a little surprised to see that only 57% of men swallowed a woman's pussy juice!

Another pleasant surprise was the fact that 87% of the women that did suck a man's cock
swallowed his cum, but a major disappointment was finding out a mere 57% of women
actually do suck a man's cock!

Although 65% of men answered no when asked if they would continue to date a woman that
wouldn't go down on them, a whopping 87% of women answered no to the same question!

Girls, more of you said you wouldn't keep dating a guy that won't go down on you, but just
over half of you return the favor, so what's the deal with that?

While many people have heard about the 'chilling' sensation created during oral sex by sucking on a mentholated cough drop, you can still enjoy this thrill without the risk of infection with the menthol flavored oral gels. For a little 'warm up' in your oral endeavors, try the cinnamon flavors. Yummy!

One safe option you can find in the kitchen is ice! Although this can be a little too intense for some, ice can be a chilling addition to your oral fun.

If you love the feel of a vibrator, it's easy for a man (or woman) to insert a vibrator into a woman's pussy while stimulating her clit with the tongue, but it's not so easy for a woman to take a man's cock and a vibrator into her mouth. Until now that is. Products like tongue vibrators allows a woman to add vibrations to her man's fellatio fun without her having to remove his cock from her mouth! Men can also use them on a woman while cunnying her cunt, keeping his hands free to play with her tits, her nipples, or while fingering her ass to bring her to earth shattering orgasms! AWESOME!

Speaking of fingering your partner's ass, many men and women enjoy a little ass play while being given head. Even those individuals that aren't anal aficionados enjoy a little pressing, poking or probing on their anus when their lover is satisfying them orally. If your partner does enjoy anal penetration, since fucking her ass with your cock, or his with a strap on while performing oral sex isn't possible, you can add to their ecstasy by using a butt plug or other  Anal Sex Toy.

Using an adult How - To Movie. Let's face it, sometimes it's a lot easier to learn something by watching someone else, and the best way to learn about oral sex is to watch other people that know what they're doing. For people that have a hard time talking to their partner about sex, using an adult How - To Movie can make it easier to start a conversation about learning new oral sex techniques. While going through the steps we gave you may be pleasurable, it will be more clinical than emotional because you have to pay attention and talk about what your partner is doing rather than just enjoying it. Watching an adult How - To movie in advance to see how other people approach the learning experience can help take a little of the nervous edge off of your own learning session (Available at: Passions Unchained Sex Toys  Adam & Eve Sex Toys  Hustler Hollywood  Angels Toy Store ).

Oral sex is unique in the fact that not only does it have a that 'naughty girl' feel to it like anal sex, but it's also one of the most intimate sex acts you can perform on your lover. Tits, ass, lips, eyes, fingers... they're all nice, and they all combine to create the person each of us are, but a woman's pussy is her most intimate possession, just as a man's cock is his, so what can be more special, or more intimate, than taking time once in a while to make love to that one special part of your lover's body?

Whatever other resources you do use, or if you only use the guide we created, just remember that whether you're good at giving head or not, or you think you are, you might be able to become better. If you want to improve your oral sex life, start with communication, then experimentation, then afterwards be sure to spend a lot of time practicing to perfect your new talents. Both of you will be glad you did.

Back to top Digg This Post to Del.icio.us Post to Slashdot Other Bookmarks

Images courtesy of Adult Friend Finder, Adam & Eve, Sex Toy Fun